perpetual motion of a novice

habuk!

2011-10-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

lame gl weyh xupdate blog~
i guess i will only write when im not happy but cant express the feelings.
now alhamdullilah working life was ok,no compliant :p

After Awhile

2011-05-29T04:38:00.000-07:00

I've been trapped for quite sometime. Its almost been a year since i felt freedom beneath my skin. Its been 2 days since i've resign and im not looking back, i need to move on, seek a greater value for my life. I can feel that my old self becoming apart with me again. The natural joy and laughter that i shared with people i love came naturally without been force. Yesterday and today, me and bb spend a little bit time together. Ahh~precious moments with her. Today was fantastic, even though its just like 3 hours, i was happy, really-really happy, we shared stupid jokes and laugh, and i just noticed that she's so beautiful now. Its not like previously she wasnt pretty or what, but right now~ i can see her becoming a lady, a very handsome lady..ahh heart beat runs wild, crush crush crushh~<3 <3

tanggang~

2011-05-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

First of all, i would like to apologize to bb for spoiling our date. Well what happen was~here is the story.
Ok, today bb and i supposedly after went to my friend's wedding, we were planning to go somewhere even though the day before bb already told me want to go back home early as nenek is attending to her house on the same weekend. So, the plan to go jalan2 was a little bit last minute but im a free man now so anything works fine for me.

At the wedding, i received a text message from kaklong, asking me to pujuk ayah because ayah and my bro in law got into quarrel again. I was actually pissed because it really threw off my perfect day!Ok, bella was sick,sometime her temperature was alarmingly high. Then it went back to normal. Probably due to bella is growing her teeth. But because she was a baby, it might be something else and it was no harm to go to a fully sponsored prince court just for a minor check up. From morning, to early evening, kaklong kept on waking up my bl**dy bro in law to tke bella to the hospital. Well,actually, we're staying together at his place due to our house is not fully complete yet and been pending for months since after the contractor screw us quite badly. So my bro in law just slept and slept and delaying to take bella for check up and it was making kaklong upset. So she reported to ayah and ayah force abg amad to woke up from bed and act like a father and take her to the hospital. The best part is, when he finally went out of his room he back talk back to my father with some mighty rude word. Ass hole, This show how people can disrespect their elderly if they think that they are good enough. As far as im concern, as bad as i am, i never have the heart and scold other people's parents and hence not even mine!Even when i was a customer service before, when and elderly male,female,malay,chin or indian called me, i will try my level best to spoke with them as gently as possible and try to be as patience as possible. That bloody bastard forget that once before when he was in trouble, ayah was the one who back him up, or when he was facing financial problem, or even changing a new bike, it was him that assist you, hari2 pegi keje naik motor sume to, spe yg belikn wey, bukan nk ungkit balik tp beringat and hormat la sket. Mase ko ssh and die senang bkn men dpn2 pijak semut pn xmati, tp ble da ssh and perlu bantuan, ko sisih2 je ske hati nk naek2 sore. huh!g mancing larat lak?

how histerical~

2011-05-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

Okay,today..something funny happen to me at work. I've get another verbal counseling or VC from my boss today. Why is it so funny?well because i was late for 1 f*cking minutes. My goodness, i was laughing hysterically when i signed that form. Okay, vc is actually something bad when you're in astro call center. The TM will issued this vc form if their staff is having a disciplinary action. Well, since the 3rd months i've join astro, i already sense that i've been cheated with those bloody headhunters, and to make an icing on the cake, it was astro who was cheating us at first place. So as time flew by, i've decided to stay just above average on my kpi, just because i wanna see how ethical are they towards their own contract. Again my assumption was true. Now, my contract is almost over and there's no sign of any bullshit convert permanent as they canang earlier before we sign the bloody contract. I wonder..can we sue them?nevermind bout that yall. Okay so lately when bonus is arround the corner, mgt has gotten worse then ever, a lot of false promises took place, force labor and such. Right now, almost 80% of the call center staff are not actually performing their task. Mostly maen2 and xde hati to do much work. So vc2 sume nie da xksa da because of the mgt itself was an asshole. As far as im concern, i only came in late including the 1 minute late is only twice!. One is because the traffic congestion in KL is unpredictable, and yesterday when i just log in at 9.01.24sec. I can accept the 1st vc because im late roughly around 27 mins so that is fair to issue vc. But today, i was laughing like hell and i offer my self to sign it, when i che pah che pah with my other collegues, they were like saying "adoii lawak2,mmg da gile da 1 min pn nk vc,lantak ko la". Then my boss like bebel2 saying that kpi this and kpi that, but my heart is only towards the customer i attend only, not towards this company who screw us quite a lot. so F-O. Yes, it was a mistake. Yes, how we wish to turn back time to undo the mistake we've done. But this is life, we cant turn back time or erase the mistake that we've done. We can only live with it and overcome it..plus not to repeat the same mistake again.Please forgive me god..ameen~

-a thousand million question-

2011-05-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Metamorphosis.. a process where certain living things will go through, normally we relate it with bugs but as human with perfect intellectual capabilities, would and should gone through it. Cm bese, pembuke kate mesti stat ngan speaking kasik 1st impression meletop bah!.

Okay2, ape yg nk direlatekn dgn tittle yg sgt menakjubkn above?banyak~~mostly psl keje la.Pe lg nk carut right?Kayh, if ade la mahluk allah swt yg follow blog kapak ak nie, so korg akn taw la yg mostly my concern is on adapting to working environment, nk2 post yg i pgg sgt2 la important,delicate,professional,mind blowing,nerve-wrecking,exec hanye pd name tp kuli/cacai/babu secare lumrahnye @@,yess post i customer service exec kt astro u(haakkkkktuuuiihhhh!!!). So my job is quite an hassle where it reallyX30 test your patience and comment sense. I remember my trainer use this sentence to describe my job's prospect "its either you make it,or you brake it". Btul, mmg pagi2 or tghari2 b4 g kije,mmg ak demotivate like hell to come to work like seriously demotivated nk mampos(sbb kte taw kte dtg untuk jd punching beg org,bos) @@

So ape related nye ngan tittle nie? Ok,sbb my personality nie mmg rebel and outspoken cket if something 2 i rse xbtul. So rite now im having quite handful of stress tanglin in my mind. Even when i went to see doc,the doc said dat my blood pressure is quite high and that is very alarming to me. Yela mude2 lg da ade sign of blood pressure,then i asked the doc"what seems to cause all this doc baybeh?" then doc ckp"ur in deep amnt of stress,either work or life" so doc tnye lg"u kje mne?" den i ckp"customer service kt.." doc tros potong ckp "ooo no wonder,that job is stressful,if people cnt manage it then cpt saket"..bisikan hati ku "mmg la, da duk kne maki je,ulang bnde same,cuci tahi organisasi mulia ku ini,kne pki headset cm anjen kne tambat,mkn ble org bg lps,kpi pn kne keja if x bos memekik"..and the best part is, mostly my friends is having high bp 2 muahaha XDbt right now, i kept on fighting my own shadows. So there's must be a hikmah behind all this pain and suffering i'd have to gone through.

I kept on blaming my past,looking back to all the offer and opportunities yg i recieve dlu2. I kept on saying that why i accept this offer at astro, this and that this and that..so 2 la correlation between tittle above. Maybe being outspoken and rebel is not quite acceptable in some circumstances. Coz every time i nk focus kje,problem kept on coming in, so i need to find the actual cause,not reason(if u get what i mean).Kire cm i asek blame on the past . Some say"benti je dola,xgne kje cmnie" bt i cant just hang my boots just like that without giving a good fight. Not because of the contract or what, just because..emm well i believe that unless we have a back up job then its not worth it to quit like that..just like running away from your problems/obstacle, and i also believe that Allah swt put us in this situation because He wanted me to learn or gain something from here, if i dont learn my lesson now, then i wouldn't be a better person in future and im stagnant at this post with no capabilities to move on. So slps mengunekn kebulehan befikir ku ini, i kept thinking why there's always one problem came after another, the problem kept on pushing me down and show my weakness. But once i faced this problem, i kept on looking back and regretting on all the opportunities that i'd missed. Maybe that is why Dear God just keep on giving me challanges at work. That is why my stress level is quite high. Might be the lesson is for me to look forward and never look back! Instead of tangling in regrets, i should be thinking on how to seize my day. Perhaps, by letting go your past regrets, you are able to move forward. Yeah, i think that could be the answer. Because ble i drive around and need my alone time, i start to get flashbacks on things that occurs and the problem that arisen, and my solution is just regreting to join astro, i should set my mind that im lucky to be given this opportunities to learn my life lesson here so that im not running away from my problems and actually blaja something ble i dlm kesusahan..inshaallah, rezki akn dtg jua. Afundi Hazama. yeah~

mybe ade relation dgn vc above :P

huh!

2011-04-19T11:08:00.000-07:00

fuck!you can be pretty annoying you know. Just about when im prepared to achieve all the bloody target, you kept on bugging my old book,the best part you make me as the bad guy. I was a new staff back then fokers, something i just dont know so just dropped it bitch!!

reich!

2011-04-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

I am who i am. There's things that they just need to accept it.We cant change the way we are. Time just cant been reverse. Things always happen for reason. Every step taken is a lesson. The past is always stay as past. The bullshit will be printed as monument. Your trouble some to track me down to take me back will always stay useless. Your deliberate racial act will be the bullet that i count for ammunition. Where i at is now is a turntable. I see my self fighting my previous enemy and bad attitude i'd pickup growing in the hood. Being myself, i'll fight and stay vigilant until im able to spread my wings. But for now, the battle field was horrific but im no coward. I've been pick up, spit at,throw down and spit back..until i'll find the lesson need to learn, until im able to survive my metamorphosis. The period already change. There's no one to stay closed to me, its between me and my goal, its just me facing my enemy. The monster im facing now is not someone stranger to me, i know him quite well. The enemy now is myself. Everyday im being turn back into my old self which im trying to brush off, the anger, that burn the fire of dissatisfaction toward the motion, Dear god, please gave me the strength, to stop my self from being my past history. When u send her to assist me to change myself from my history, i thought the battle have already be won, but now, i need your mercy O-Dear God, give me strength to help me learn the lesson that you want me to learn. Inshaallah.

kn da klua post emosi~~!!

2011-04-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

Adoi..bkn nk mara or depress la kn..tapi nie ha pantun ke puisi nk puaskn hati sendri..wa gne ayat rempit sbb sedap cket..njoy

wa pnat la kn asek nk jge hati org lain.pnat xpnat la kn nk jage prasaan sume org kn.
blom kire wa keje keras untok org lain.bj wa,slua wa,kasut wa koyak rabak tuu
da sah2 mmg stended sume nyampah ngan bos mkn babi n keje pn xkurg sialan nye.
tlinge wa pn panas jugak geng asek dgr brader2,siste2 nk ngadu kt wa.
blom kire keje wa nie mmg duk nadah tlinge org nk meluah.."akak xsempat baya dik" or"lu nie komunis maa,wa da baya cash lu sambung je la wa nye astro".
tapi wa ikhlas nk tolong,sbb wa caye ble tyme wa kne,wa pn nk rse attention yg wa bg kt org len..tp kn..haraaamm~
wa pnat wey,wa pnat...lu org len xksa,
tyme der2 dlu mntk tlg wa,wa sangup tlg,sengkang mate teman,
tp ble wa nye turn..der2@lu2 slambe je ckp bz la,pnat la,wa kije trok la..skali due xpe gak..nie all the time kn..emm
syg2ku, wa pn pnat kije,wa nie manusia, bkn nye jentera berjana kuasa elektrik bai,
2pn da sah2 wa yg kol,wa just nk der dgr je, tp yelakn..yg bes nye ble wa cbe jd sellfish pd diri wa yg berharge ni,rmi pulok yg trase ati ckp wa eksyen la,lupe diri la,xmcm dulu la..tp ble ati wa cala bala nie...spe nk tangung?kang wa call lisa surihani suh jd scandal payah lak nnt ngan dunie glamour.Tp nk wek cmno, wa xde tempat nk becerite..Wa ngat sok nk try ngadu blek kt customer la..asek dorg je nk ngadu hal kt wa.Emm Makwe?wa ade makwe,baek..tp die sebuk..nk majuk ngan die susah der...nnt ble die majuk lg wa langsung xdpt nk ngadu pe2,da mkin xde spe nk bg kaseh sayang..eyh..lek lu,kok pnjg g nie..wa rse wa nk kol lisa surihani la,xpn wa nk kol blik dira abu zahar..aitu die miskol wa..nk ngadu hal ex hubby la 2 agknye..nie da single ade chan la kn..emmm hello dira,u free x?weeenggg~

sweetest goodbye

2011-03-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Tis today,9th of march 2011,will be one of the saddest moment in my life. Today was the day that i say goodbye to one of my priceless possession. Tis today where i say my final goodbye to me beloved silver panda. Hehe, that name was made up by bb because the physical outlook of my car is just like a panda. Well,it was my first car. My panda's is about 3 and half years old. I remembered clearly how was it like when i first saw her(panda). She was very helpful towards me,family and bb. A lot of tears and joy that we shared with her. During my study days in penang..my goodness,too many sweet memory. She also helped me and bb a lot when we continue our studies in shah alam. Not to mention how she carry the whole family balik kg for raya, help us when we move out from subang..sorry for being emotional.

Ok,the reason why i have to scarifies her is because my family is having a deep financial constrain. So one of the alternative for me to play my role and responsibilities towards ibu and ayah is to sell of panda to get some float money for us to survive. It was a very tough decision for me,but i have to swallow the bitter side and continue life.

This morning,knowing that today was my last day with panda, i drove around with no specific destination just to show my appreciation and respect towards her even though some people might say that its ridiculous. Even yesterday night, me ayah n ibu drove to kl showing my new office just because ayah n ibu want to ride panda. Well,even bb was sad when i bring this news to her,well i dont blame her, we share too much memories with panda and it was apart of us. So today, when i finally turn my keys,i almost shredded with tears, it was impossible for me,to hand over something so close to my heart. In fact i purposely left my bag inside just to comeback and whisper"thank you panda for everything".T.T

But there's always a silver lining to everything. Today also is the day i've got my new panda, a bigger panda.Inshaallah with the new addition, more rezeki and opportunity for me to seek inshaallah. Even later that night, i accompanied bb as she want to buy a brand new external hard disk, she can tell that im still sad of losing my old panda. But its okay, inshaallah new panda will assist us more and new memories will be made and shared too. Again i would like to say, on behalf of my family and bb, thank you so much panda for everything :)

some pics of panda here~

updates updates udates!!

2011-03-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

Okay, been busy enjoying my holiday so this post will be merely on updating on how i spend my holidays.
Just a recap on my holidays. I was given a 6 day leave to spend and it really worth it!!Being an exec with not so exec duty,my schedule can be pretty up scene!. But alhamdulillah last Thursday i declare my holiday and show my middle finger to them(bahaha).

1st day

My first day wasn't much activities done. Maybe because it wasn't pay day yet so duduk rumah diam2 sudah bah!. Mostly i spend on resting my mind and body,watch movies,sleep,watch tv and sleep again(hell lots of fun). But i went back to my office because i have a phone training for 1 hr, so i just attended my training,chit chat with my friends and chow as soon as the training over!Than later that night i just watched some movies again and relaxing.

2nd day.

Yeah,its pay day!!!Alhamdullilah i've got my salary but not that much as i'm taking quite number of MC due to the doc suspect my of having dengue fever. My activities start after friday prayers and of course after paying my ever so lovely bills!But b4 that,me and kakngah went to SP to dropped some stuff. Later that night i went out with my dearest sugar pie honey bunch(it ws her pay day too!). So i've decided to hit subang parade to buy some stuff~the so call self pampered drugs. But dunno why but there's too many people in parkson, it was like tossing and turning just to que up to pay for 1 single item aijoo~. But it was already past 10pm so me and bb decided to have our dinner at a fast food restaurant and Mcd was the most easiest less troublesome place for us,but we chat quite a lot and shared some ridiculous jokes..hurm probably its quite sometime since we have and actual conversation as bb was struggling hard with her workload. Than after sending bb back home, i decided to meet up with rafi at equine(closer to our house). There, again rafi decided to lepak at Mcd again so i agreed but i dont have any appetite to eat Mcd twice,loya kot(++).We shared stories and gossip(yes,guys did gossiping too). End up we went back home almost 4 am..the stories were too hot to resist haha XD

3rd day.

Okay,3rd day its family time! I woke up quite early even though i slept quite late yesterday. So after having breakfast, kaklong,dudubell and kakngah wanted to go to giant kinrara to buy some groceries, for me and ayah, we went to subang and glenmarie just to cuci mata for a proton car. Get quite handful information and promos. Later that evening, we have our dinner,gelak2,ngumpat2 sedare and shared some good family moments.Than later that night i already make plans with my subang friends to have a futsal game. Plan start at 11pm and the best part is all my subang friends were playing that night. So after the game,we went out to have a drink,chit chatted and headed home. It was fantastic except that there's too many roadblock that night for crying out loud. Just because hindraf is having some gathering blergh!

4th day.

Another exciting day for me,because me and bb is on a date. My goodness its been so long since we spend the whole day together(thanks bb) :'). Okay2, we were heading to cineleisure to watch movies and we choose a damn good movie too..multiple bonus for us, we watched 127 hrs,highly recommended!.Then we went to ikano to have our lunch and do some shopping as both of us need new stuff. BB need to do some shopping for her PTD and me,i need to bought new working shirts. Later as usual, ikea..its a must!.So arround evening,i send bb back home and i also returned back to my nest. That night,the whole family did some spring cleaning..squeky squeky clean baybeh.Than on 1.20 am, i've decided to go search for my new office somewhere in jalan tun razak.

5th day.

5th day is quite a slow and relaxing day for me. Kakngah start her practical and the whole day i just stayed at home and making up my room.but later that night, i went out with rafi and beeh,just to catch up on each other and plan our outing day wohoho!

6th day.

Alright, it was my final day of my holiday. Not so much activities been done today..except ouh,i've bought a car,alhamdullilah.Than it was just a plain relaxing day and preparing for work,mencik!

Well,that's briefly on how i spend my holiday.Some might say i wasted it but too me,it was a perfect,meaningful and beautiful holiday for me. I've got the opportunity to spend time with my family,bb and friends of course. Nothing beats that. My mind is well rested and ready for work. Maybe im the type who loves to sit at home and spend my time with family and love ones. Well, that's just me.:)

update!

2011-02-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since the last time i've updated my blog. Well there's too many things occurs to me,some are good,some are bad. The good news is Alhamdulillah my cough is getting better and a lot of flam is coming out,doc said i have too many flam.

Well, i guess i've been busy growing up. Being myself, i know i can be quite outspoken when it come to certain situation(regarding work of course!). Being mislead, racial victim and constrain of doing what you actually like rather than your current job, well i can say it is like a metamorphosis where you will face stages in life. Right now, im at stage where adapting changes in life and i can say,its pretty much a pain in the ass.

As i am busying my self with guiding my colleagues of composing a petition toward higher organization, i come to my sense that somehow,im chewing more than what i can actually bite. i kept on fighting and rebel in a professional way (not like rioting or boycotting) that somehow i might take some thing for granted. Yes i admit that working in shift and public holiday can be quite a hassle and really need a very damn good commitment where you need to admit that you are the service provider to the normal working hours people, we are the server to them and i need to swallow my ego towards it. Maybe that is the lesson Allah want me to learn,how to lower your ego,learn how to be more grateful, Alhamdulillah, this is a meaningful proses for a fresh graduate like me. Insyaallah, later on if i have a better more stable job, i'll surely value it. :)

tupai jatuh ke tanah tp xksa pe bnde pn

2011-01-30T08:50:00.000-08:00

yes..tahniah..our cover was blown today..finally tm already caught us skipping calls XD
so she yelled and want to give me disciplinary action..well,i don't give a damn. After the racial sentiment that i need to tolerate..its just best to throw the cake back at them!But its a sign from god to double check my working attitude, and i admit its my fault following seniors but at this environment, they need to know that where not machine,we have a limit,a breaking point, espacially when you have a bachelors degree!Luckily my scores for previous months is quite ok and i managed to question my managers back on some facts..well at least she knew that im not that stupid,so even steven now cause i still don't give a damn.

my goodness

2011-01-18T10:08:00.000-08:00

day by day~
never stop hopping for another stepping stone..
day by day~
kept opening my inbox to seek oppurtunity..
day by day~
i never stop praying for it..
day by day~
i kept trying and never stop losing hope..
day by day~
i kept surviving my battle with my emotion..
day by day~
i held my head up i around the racism i've recieved..
day by day~
i kept on struggling to survive the battle..
and day by day~
i'd get the morale support from my loves one

cogan kata hati

2011-01-04T09:58:00.000-08:00

Ku masih mencuba..ku pohon rezeki dan segala urusan ku dipermudahkan oleh-Nya..even though macam2 halangan dan rintangan,penat lelah ku..ku masih berusaha mencari rezeki~ku harap kesabaran dan usaha ku membuahkan hasil kelak..amin~

rhymes

2010-12-29T09:32:00.000-08:00

hrmm..

perfect way to simplified a story..

sad

2010-12-27T09:53:00.000-08:00

To:bb

Today was a really2 bad day for me. I've always come across feeling that i want to quit my current job but not doing it as i need to stay patience and positive, but today i was dead serious.It all started 3pm today,my shift start at 3 and as usual i get there atleast half and hour early.

Today my team manager in-charge of handling the floor,so i can say that she'd quite stressed up with that. Plus kak Kureen and Iz is on leaves so i guess that must be and icing on the cake. Well she started sending email to us regarding our call accuracy and sadly most of us are not doing fine. She quoted on top of her email "dear team, thank you for making me fail again". I was so sad hearing those word coming out from her and above all that im the only one who have a fatal call due to one humble tiny miny small error..which is i dont drop the call when the conversation is over before 30 sec..knowing that i was like"wtf??????".Because the call tapper was my team manager and i'm very pissed she scored me that way just because when all conversation is over i dont drop that line!!. Regarding that i've shows termandous improvement for other call. I used to score between the range of 82%-88%, but for my last called i've managed to score 90% and 100%.

Plus,she yelled at me again in-front of everybody and im very ashamed because of that. I was just getting ready with all the follow-up call that i needed to do and stuff and she yelled in front of everyone that i need to log in now. I can understand that she's under pressure but she don't have to do that and i can hear her babbling about me to my new immediate boss(because astro is reshuffling teams). Well,im not the only one effected today,most of us do. Its just so hard when you succeed in hundreds of other calls but because of one tiny fucking mistake in one call you will be bashed like shit. After few month,this was the day where im thinking of hanging my boots. Because the environment was to stressful and the stakes was very high,no wonder this job is ranked third for highest stressful jobs in the world again no wonder the pay was sooo high @@

the sign

2010-12-17T01:31:00.000-08:00

Well,today is another off day for me because i've got an mc today(yay!dlm saket hehehe). Well i've got an mc because of gastric,i never knew that i've got gastric..hurm:?The best part is,i've reached my office already but i just cant stand up due to my stomach condition..poor tummy :'<

But luckily i've got an mc on friday,i can took ayah to friday prayers. I'd really love going to friday prayers(not because of obligation) but rather because of the qhutbah. The content of the qhutbah differentiate between different areas but still keep focusing the true message of Islam.

Today,what luck, the content is so meaningful. The qhatib give a speech on hijrah and it makes my decision to move on to another platform became stronger. This is a sign from Allah swt, to keep on asking their servants to always try,not to be afraid of sacrifices to aim for glory but deep down,it counted on your intention (nawaitu). If your intention is good, then Allah will assist us but if the intention was bad,well wallah'ulam. May allah bless me more option for me to hijrah myself,inshaallah.

russian roulet

2010-12-16T06:35:00.000-08:00

Future is something that we have no idea how's it going to be. Nevertheless as a khalifah,one of our jurisdiction is to strive. Strive in countless ways. Today was my second offday, after sending ayah to ppum for his regular check-ups, i just plan to spend the rest off the day at home. After catching up some z's and watching some old movies from my hard drive, i started to think of my next stepping stone. Alhamdulillah comparing to others, not all fresh graduate been given the opportunity to earn as much as i earn now and plus been given a straight course on how cruel life can be. Apart of all the hectic,emotional despair and mentally abused tingling around me, i'd guess i want to test my survival skills on racism,corruption,politics, ethics and all the non-theoretical lesson to other fields. I took the opportunity been given to me before this as an life teaching experience. How does it feels to be force to seat for 9 hrs,without being able to reply any SMS-es, without having the liberty of walking out the office anytime you want for cigarette,computer is controlling your moves, working when other people are resting and the worst is..you don't have the freedom of performing your sollah(biggest lesson i've learn). People can easily say that"owh its must be hard"..well,you need to experience it yourself before you can spoke this words to others,that's the genuine form of teaching, not just looking at others and cook something up.

So,to get back at the main bullet point of the piece, today, i've started to seek other opportunity that i can learn. The best part of experience being your tutor,is that it is up to you to find the answer,you only have a guide book by your side(quran) to guide you to the correct path. Sincerely, in term of islamic teaching, i have to admit that i need to understand more on how to view it from within, not just in term of doing what that have been obligated to us or simple because of others,but how should we face it in our very own situation.Being trap in this horrific events make me feel more humble and sensitive(alhamdulillah). Today, when i started to browse around seeking another platform for me to step on, i realized that i've learned to read extra extra careful, not just blindly shooting a rapidfire. I'm starting to find the correct stepping stone for me to start chase my dream. hehe suddenly i remember my trainers word of wisdom(which they cilok from others too!) it goes something like this~

did you know that an eagle is a proud majestic bird,being the number 1 predator in the sky with flawless beauty and firm chest flying proud in the sky.But, their life-cycle will come to a phrase..where for them to keep on surviving,the need to replace their own beak. Yes,the need to actually remove their own body parts to keep on surviving when they grew older. They said that if the eagle doesnt do it,the eagle will die due to the beak also become old and useless for them to hunt.in simple word,either break your beak for you to be glorious again,or die because you dont want to face the pain,choice is yours. So the eagle have an option, to go through a horrific,painful experience of smashing its beak in a rock until it grew back another one,or just avoid it but just repeat on saying the glorious of their kind without going through it itself but later on died when the time come.

Morale of the story, to be successful, sometimes you need to go through a stage where there's constant pain in your everyday life to make u better and wise in the future,because you've learned it the hard way. The past 6 months was a torture for me,there,i've learned the hard way. I used to underestimate my job but now i've learned to be more humble and sensitive towards others pot of rice. Inshaallah, may allah swt bless my next stepping stone and ease it for me..ameen~

so called fusion

2010-12-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

Konichiwa`ok2 my entry for today is about the disappointment that i get today.What is my disappointment is about?its about today's friday prayer's qhutbah. Today alhamdulillah i was given the opportunity to perform my friday prayers even though my shift start early in the morning. Normally i would go early before the qhutbah start as it was one of the criteria in performing a friday prayers. Ok,before the qhatib start to give the qhutbah,one of the representative start giving a speech and it really made me disappointed. The reason why is because the representative is ushering us to join the perarakan from masjid negara to the istana negara. If you're updated with the current issues,the kerajaan selangor is having quite and argument over the tariff of water supply in selangor. Now,our kerajaan negeri(im a selangorian) is subsidizing our water tariff for 30% if im not mistaken. Now, Syabas is pulling back the luxury of the tariff and charge and increment of 20% increase(not so sure,need to flip back the newspaper). So,the representative took the opportunity of the crowd gathered for prayers and usher the muqmin to join the perarakan. I was very frustrated because the representative uses the mosque to tell all the muqmin regarding the strike. I clearly oppose on that as the Masjid (especially during friday prayers) is not a place for campaign or political talk!!!!As a muslim, when we visited the mosque,we cant talk about all the "duniawi" or political issues. This is a respectful place where we discuss religious teaching,ethics,morale issues, and self motivation, never a place to campaign your political agenda!!Im very upset twas the representative over conducting matters like that today where freely request for people to join,sign the memorandum or anything.so disrespectful. Im not hating them because i dont believe in what they stand for, but i hate the fact the representative is too caught up with the perarakan until he forget one of the basic rule when you are in a mosque.

share of tought

2010-11-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

I really hate my mental state now. I always have this thought flying around my head each time im about to go to bed. Tis because i can't find the spirit of working?Remember back all the theories i've learn during my education days(which i'd miss the most),i'd tried to figure out all the motivational theories just to keep me going through the day and the best part is i cant find the motivational boost. Pretty much i just cant find the synchronization between me and my work. U feel nonthing else but quiting but u cant pull the trigger due to the bloody contract!!Put yourself in my shoes and face it everyday~plus,today i demam. Up to the stage,im just to fatigue to think of it anymore,i kept on finding and finding the hikmah beneath my work..i guess time will tell.

shitty shifty

2010-11-14T10:45:00.000-08:00

argghh i totally hated shift work..i dont get the freaking time with bb at all!!Today my shift finishes at 10 and when i get home,bb is already preparing to go to bed and im just getting started to texting her..haih curse u shift work!

al kisah toyibaa

2010-11-11T12:29:00.000-08:00

(cube bace style dak2 skola rendah darjah 3 bace ye)

hari ini hari khamis.hari khamis hari astro tukar system.mereka buang system lame dalam tong sampah.orang-orang IT dari india sgt sebuk install system baru.kadang2 computer kami terpadam sendiri..kasihan~kami amat sedih sbb kene marah.Kami kene mara sbb plangan xgheti bahse..kasihan~system lame sgt bongok.harap-harap system baru tak bongok sangat.kami slalu lapa mase kerja.bos mara saya sbb x buley duduk diam.esok saya cuti.buleh men game.cikgu jgn fail kn saya..saya mahu A sbb nk blagak dgn suresh ank jiran.tenkiu.

sekian~

ternyata diri ini sedang buhsan -_-

mencik!

2010-11-10T10:03:00.000-08:00

sy tidak suka..sy kije ptg,bb kije pg...xle nk canoodle2..tidak suke!hmmph :(

unfortunate events

2010-11-07T09:39:00.000-08:00

Hello hello hello,tis today yet another gloomy day for me. I came to work extra late today..very extra late(not good!). Last two night we'd been receiving quite number of relatives coming to kaklong's place. Fair enough on last friday,relatives from ibu's side came and visit us together with baby bella. My shift is from 8am-4pm on that day so i was extremely happy being able to see atuk,wan and other relatives after my shift is over.Last night, its abg amad's family pay a visit to us and baby bella. Yesterday my shift start on 11 am to 8 pm. After meeting up with bb cause im insist to see bb,she look so pretty after a new hair do(tuka topic sat),then i straight to help ibu cleaning up after the mess. The best part is, my shift is going to start at 8 am. so last night i couldn't sleep. And the result..today i woke up late!!and as lesson,i know that im not mend for shift work anymore,the schedule is crazy!!

I never notice that my phone alarm rang. i remember that i set the alarm at 6.00 am and i woke up today cause Bat called me. and the story goes~

me:(sleeping)

beep beep beep

bat:bro~where are you?ak xnmpk ko pn?

me:hey man morning*drowzy*

bat:bro,f*ck ko bru bgn ke?hahahahaha

me:damn~babi~ak bru bgn,f*ck bro skrng pkul brape?kak sharmila(bos) ade x?

bat:weyy?seriously ko bru bgn?kak sharmilah ade ni ha jln2,ak crik ko sbb smlm ko nk book kn seat..tgk2 ko xde bro 2 yg ak rang

me:f*ck sial~ak tlajak tdo penat gle..bro book kn seat,ak nk fast n furious ni

bat:ok2 ak book seat.lawak sial adoii

me:shitt,jp tgu ak smpi office ak jack ko bro smpi lobos

the time was 8.15am.so i rush to have my shower everything and i was ready by 8.20am(how fast was i @@). then i just jumped in my car and rushed to my office and i was like speed racing@@. then i called bat,put in loud speaker and ask him to give the seat number. i reached Astro at 8.45 am.then log in and screwed by my boss. what a day!

substantial

2010-11-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

Work during holidays..i hate it so much. But what i noticed over this stage of my metamorphosis is that i am starting to have the urges to write a bashful insight from my perspectives. I see my self to be more of the angry writer(feels like good will hunting)..which throw most of his emotional feelings and intellectual dispute over writings. Some of my writings can be very sensitive to others but this my journal hee~, Maybe we need to give a little tweaking. Maybe i should start think of happy things.Hrmm happy thought happy thought happy thought..nah~there's no happy thought when your screwed to your cubical and start answering same question over and over again for 8 hours,plus with beeping call rate and adamant customer during festive. Well win some lose some.

hopefully my flew like syntoms will be gone by tomorrow.ameen~

cant find the perfect tittle.

2010-11-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

Another entry from me,since i kept this blog as my journal,so there's no need for me to solute any readers cause i dont think people will stay long reading my blog..the story is quite lame i presume. Well, enough about that. Today my off day,cant describe how relief i am to have an off day,the last two days was quite a hassle. Okay,why do i say so?because its deepavali eve and the phone never stop rang!it rang and rang until i will be to exhausted to speak(imagine that).Normally on average count,we would get 15k calls per day,last two days,the reading was quite excruciating,we receive 26k for both last two days. The calls were beeping from 8 am until 12 mid. waiting list wont go lower than 20 and the agents are all busy.Its quite stressful to be in a position like that but to look on a positive side,i'm helping people to stay connected via astro,making your life richer(bahaha!). Its an interesting experience come to think of it. How it feels to speak for 8 hours non stop and feel the adrenaline rush to reduce those damn waiting list and provide service to value customer. I guess something that any text book wont tell you.But there's two tail at the story,i really do envy people who work in office hours. Because i worked in shift,i felt the pinch of working when it is holiday,working while people are resting,well i missed quite a lot,when you work on night shift,you naturally felt that your body is tired,even though how many hours of sleep you've already get.Your mind aren't that fresh, but i need to be headstrong. Maybe sooner or later,i'll get those opportunity to work according to god's law of nature inshaAllah.

The only picture of me working :B

the R word.

2010-10-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

Responsibility, a word that pairs magnificently with the word independent. As i grew up, i've learn to be independent. Especially when you are a man. Modern world carried us away with different vibe. But the goal is still remains. Our duty as a khalifah is to be the predecessor that maintain the teaching of our beloved descendant from Allah swt, Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h., becoming a responsible leader(leader of family,nation,organization people of three,etc),ammar makruf and nahi mungqar. As a khalifah, we cant run away from being responsible. Taken from what i've listen in previous friday's khutbah. the imam spoke that responsible is not measured by the number of achievement that u have manage to accomplish,but it measured on how hard you have tried to achieve this goal. After listening to that, i realize that my occupation is my responsibilities,my duties in my family is my responsibility, my debt against gods is my responsibilities. It shows that is not how high your achievement are,but most likely,is how honest,dedicated and determine for you to accomplish your responsibility. But how does it related to independent?my opinion..the relation between the first variable and the second variable..is you yourself. How flexible are you to adapt or quickly outfox the challenge coming straight at you,because its your responsibility to accomplish a certain goal and you need to flamboyant enough in order to get the job done as again..its our responsibility.but then again,im still learning. Only Allah swt knew the secret to everything,subhanallah!

dear god~

2010-10-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

ya allah ya tuhanku~
sesunguhnya yang baik dtg dari mu dan yg buruk dtg dari diriku
pelihara dan elakkan lah diriku dari perasaan cemburu dan iri hati
ameenn~

new addition

2010-10-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

20/10/2010

My eldest sis safely gave birth to a healthy baby girl(alhamdullilah praise to Allah almighty).She gave birth at prince court today(dunno why people is going gaga drooling over prince court..been there,same old treatment,my advise..any hosp would do,don't go for the sake of its glamorous). Yes,i'm an uncle now.One step higher then rest ceewah*(pdhl if kire my father's side i already have the tittle granduncle=.=')okay2,the baby still haven't got any finalization on names and everything but right now the current stat will be Salsabillah Rahmad.

Ibu break the news to me when i'm working today. when i heard about the news i was extremely happy,plus with bb' got an interview with cimb. It really made my day. i couldnt not wait to get home cause i want to see the abby. At first i text bb as she was training with TM and such, because knowing her,she always wanted to go to prince court to see whats up with that place(regular bb regular), because i know it would be trouble some for me to drive but i want to share my feelings with her. then she replied that she need to prepare for tomorrow's interview,so no issues,let her settle up her stuff first,furthermore she just adapting on the new working environment that i've gone through months before so let her go through that experience =p.So once i get home around 630 pm, the jam was F-ing bad.thank god kaklong's exits is not too far away from TPM's. Then after i get home, i havent had time to catch my breath then ayah ask me whether i can drive to ioi mall to pick up the baby craddle, I was very-very tired handling guest and i just need some few minutes to catch my breath,but i still do it even though 650pm at ioi?u've gotta be kidding me,its a gold mine of traffic jams during that time. But its a special case so i need to summon my strength. The climax of the story is when we reach there but the shop already closed,it closed 1 hour early,mother fucker!dont you know the amount of hassle that i've gone through,fuckers!Well after being devastated by that baby shop, me and ayah head home and after quickly performing my solat, i went back to jalan tun razak at 8.30 pm,yeahh imagine the jam?i was very exhausted but my feeling is ever so excited to see my new niece. The first thing that come across my mind is that i want to give a qomat at her ear(even tough,abg amad,ayah,abg amad's father,his brother all already gave the qomad to her but in my family,im the representative..so yeahh!!). okay once i've reached there, i sanitize my hand everything before seing her,than after seing the baby,i perform the qomad and she was giggeling,alhamdullilah. Well some people might be confuse over qomad and azan, some have opinion that all babies should be azan and qomad,some say that the azan is for the boy and qomad is for the girl. So let me explain. Azan + Qomad is a sunnah to perform to a newborn why is it a sunnah,because our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w does that too. Azan is on the right ear,Qomad is on the left ear both male & female,but that is interm of performing a sunnah act. But, the tradition of malay culture, azan will be given to the male new born and qomad is for the female new born. There's a different between tradition and religious act,so that is the different.:B

After that, ibu is busying pampering kaklong and that is the time where i can catch my breath. Hungry,haven't eaten from noon,tired,dirty all the ingredients to make a stressful person,but again once i saw my new niece it makes me thing of bb and us. but she's adapting to a new environment and let us give some space to her and support her!!go bb!!Tomorrow,i'll be working so adios!thats the wrap to another very4X busy day.

scribbles..again~

2010-10-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

i felt sad because i cant manage to plan any surprises for bb's birthday,i felt sad..sorry honey,owg busy sgt lately nie :'(

Took me sometime.

2010-10-17T11:06:00.000-07:00

My birthday already past for like what?5 days ago?but from the night before i celebrate my birthday until today,i kept on treating people and bought stuff for them and i loved it!.When the money you've earned you tend to spend on others,it makes your hard work pays off,well it works for me of course.I treat my family and bb for my birthday celebration. But the issues is, i loved to spend my money on them but i am ever too stingy when it comes to myself. bb sometimes remind me or asked me"what did you bought for yourself?" and my answer is"nothing". I don't know, is not like i don't want to buy is just..i'm not interested in buying stuff for myself. I rather spent on my family or on bb rather for my self, silly isn't it?but thats the truth.

This past weekend, me and bb decided to spent sometimes before she start training for her new job(congrats!) and later that evening she is having some bbq party with her childhood buddies somewhere in labu. So,we decided to head to mid before i sent her to labu. Supposedly, the primary plan is that i want to find a new futsal shoes and i gave bb rm X for her to buy anything she'd want hehe. well she got a new leather belt (kudos to that) and for me, when i've found the shoes, i decided not to buy it cause i think its not worth it (even though my current futsal shoes is in horrifying state,boo to that!). But today,when i fetch bb at komuter station in subang, we decided to go to subang parade since i want to buy a belt too. Well, we found a perfect belt(thanks to bb my portable shopping GPS), and still i have the feelings of stinginess when the shop assistant start wrote the recipt. I felt like shouting "eh awk,saye xjadi la nk beli". but than, i've managed to buy something for my self,my birthday gift for my self.

something special

2010-10-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

Some of the cuppies she made for me.how sweet ='D

Yesterday was my birthday/hari keputeraan saya*hahahaha*.but today this post is not about me,its about her. Yesterday,we went out to eat at murni usj to celebrate my birthday,well its not any fancy eatery but still,we have this passion to try any food stalls to see which one begs the differ(but bb's is more adventurous when it comes to food). When i came to picked her up at her house,she came by surprising me with some cupcakes she made by herself.i was so touched cause i know earlier that day she was busy preparing for the interview. Than after we have our dinner and drive around,it makes me wonder"how on earth that she can still manage to make me a cupcakes with her pack schedule". I know the answer too,she was committed to what she does,that makes her good, even though she kept on claiming that she is no good because she was having difficulty to find some jobs. But to me,she was quite the excellent type(compare to me though). When she talked about her schooling days, when we're at uni together,when she's not working,i observe her..she never did something that is waste of time. She loves to experiment her cooking skills,she goggle around the net to find interesting topics or new info, she read novels and wrote down new english word that later she sort it out in the dictionary. Well,some people might taught that she was wasting her time or such hassle and stuff but my opinion,she never waste her time and all her action is good for self improvement and i believe she will achieve more success in future insyaallah. Now i know why she's special,everyday there will be a progression that she made and im proud of her. In less than two hours is her birthday and i wish her Allah bless her with good health,wealth and prosper.Ameen~happy 23rd birthday syg :'*

Aint just any ordinary day.

2010-10-06T01:17:00.000-07:00

WELL,BY NOW EVERYBODY WOULD GUEST HOW BUSY I AM,WORK UNTILL LATE HOURS,UNPREDICTABLE WORKING HOURS AND UNPREDICTABLE OFF DAYS. TODAY WAS MY OFF DAY,I REMEMBER LAS NITE IWAS LOOKING FOWARD TO SPENT SOMETIMES RESTING WITH MY FAMILY & LOVE ONES.I WOULD WAKE UP IN A CHEERFUL WAY AS IT WAS MY OFFDAY.INDEED TODAY I WOKE UP IN A CHEERFUL WAY. I WAS PLANNING TO TAKE BB TO PIA'S HOUSE AS I ALREADY PROMISE HER CAUSE LAST WEEKEND I WAS VERY BUSY WITH MOVING AND ALSO WORK AT THE SAME TIME,SO I WAS LOOKING FOWARD TO THIS DAY. AS USUAL,I PICK HER UP AT HER HOUSE AND WE DROVE TO PIA'S HOUSE SOMEWHARE IN AUG4/7. ALONG THE WAY WE CHIT CHATTED WHILE LAUGHING AND IT WAS EXCITING FOR ME BECAUSE FINALLY IM WITH HER,BUT IN THE MIDDLE THE MOOD SWING ARRIVES AS SHE START BRINGING UP SOME ISSUES,WELL ITS NOT HER FAULT BUT IT REALLY BLEW OFF MY MOOD BUT AGAIN THAT'S NOT HER FAULT. I GUESS ITS ONLY ME WHO CHASE N WORK MY DREAM,BUT OTHERS MIGHT MISJUDGE.I WAS SAD BECAUSE I TOUGHT I'M THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM.WELL THAT IS THE CORE OF MY EMOTIONAL DEPRESS.WE TOUGHT WE DID GOOD BUT TURNS OUT ACTION DOESNT SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS SOMETIMES.IT REFLECTED BACK TO MY WORK ENVIRONMENT AND NATURE WHERE PEOPLE MISJUDGE YOUR ACTION AND WHAT YOU'D SAY,BUT FRANKLY WE WERE JUST DOING OUR DUTY AND RESPECT THEM.BIENG BLAME AS THE CAUSE AND PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO THROW PUNCHES CAN BE QUITE A HASSLE BUT THAN AGAIN,THAT IS THE NATURE OF LIFE.I KNOW BB WORK REALLY2 HARD BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE OVERLOOKED SOME FACTS,BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN PEOPLE DONT UNDERSTAND U,NOT TO WORRY,I DO. TO WRAP UP EVERYTHING,TODAY IS THE DAY WE'VE SHARED FEELINGS.END.FUCK ESOK KEJE!!@@

P.M.S

2010-09-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

Alhamdullilah, today, i went to meet with my QIT. The hell is QIT?Okay QIT is a dpmnt in astro where they act as a quality control. they measure your call and stuff then come's out a table where they conclude your performance during that periodical monthly measurement. The acronym itself if im not mistaken is Performance Measurement/Management System something like that.

Okay,to be frank, i am facing some difficulties in adapting the pace in astro working method. Its quite hard making urself multi tasking and such. Basically i guess it twas a training for myself to improve and harness my working discipline. Back to the original track..a pms is counted and summarize by percentage. Then they will measure those percentage and if i did good, then my bonus will be more handsomely stated. Again is between you and your goal. Currently i am discovering my muse in channeling out my stress. Again back to the story, Those percentage determine your overall performance in that particular month. After a neck breaking conversation with customer, you'll hope that no one taps your call or your dead!PMS down the drain. Not forget about the defects and shit. this month alone i've successfully obtain 3 defects. Defects is a major minus point because of your carelessness. Well, im not blaming others for my own mistake, i just accept it cause im still new to this environment.

But alhamdullilah, with god's will, i've improve my pms compared to my previous month. Even though its not a full mark but im showing improvement and that boost my motivation to try harder to score better. Well, there's a word saying that "there's always room for improvement, you just need to find it yourself". Plus, one of my colleges get a compliment from other customer and i'm happy for him, it makes me want to achieve the same standard. Insyaallah i will try to improves myself even more now. cheers~

why do i feel down?

2010-09-16T09:36:00.000-07:00

One person had told me before"changing is the most difficult thing for us to do"...and is true. When i go to work,i kept on asking myself, why do i need to go through all this shit?why do i need to committed my self to work that is very frustrating?why do i need to work like a robot?. These feeling kept me feeling tortured when it come to doing your work. Supposedly i need to be motivated when it comes to work. Not until today that i've learned that im severing from a post depression when it comes to work. Being a newbie, i felt the pressure to copy what others do..well that is the wrong way of doing things. I realize that i kept on focusing what others achieve rather than my own achievement and that is why i cant find the inner joy of working. Now, the person who said "changing is the most difficult things to do" is actually true and i believe it. That negative attitude that i carried from my pre schooling session haunts me back untill my working days. Now, i already know what to do. I need to build my believe. believe that i can accomplish anything if i put my heart to it. May Allah swt bless me with strength to change and do my best, FIN

scribbles

2010-09-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

Shit its been awhile since the last time i've updated this piece of crap hee~(mind the vulgarize wordings). Well, now is almost been two months of me adapting to a new environment. Yes, i'm working now. These two lines will mostly summarize my entry today.

Well, im still adapting my new elf to this new environment. But, somehow, i missed my schooling days. Excluding monetary issue, students life,campushood is way way better then working life. Yes, being one of the record breaking company which pays you record breaking salary really takes a whole in your. Now, its not about who takes which course is better or who have a higher cgpa's is the top of the food chain..now the game is different. It test your morality,characteristic and self sufficient in order for you to stay above the rest. The test now is between you yourself and your ultimate goal. Despite the glamorous life of having a disposable income, you need to play your card very well in order to succeed. Here, I'm quite glad that i had a mixture of Business study+service, it really-really help me quickly adapting to the new environment. Not being bias to other courses(like they've done to us!) but well~we can say that the so called technical oriented people is having quite a disoriented feeling. Well~welcome to service industry! In my colleges alone, i am competing against various background in terms of studies. A mixture of broadcasting,law,the famous engine,accounts,medicine,orthodontist,social science and such..and as usual..they've looked at me with an impresion that my course is easy. Now,we are in the same battle ground with same amount of weapon and under the same general. That is the game of working experience that no theoretical laws will impose. Its basically how you took your students life characteristic & traits and use it to your advantage. Well, that is from my observation. Now, there some engine students is planning to quit this service. Well my friend, this is a life lesson,never ever underestimate people just by looking from their educational background, just because you've been protected by the university's opinion, doesn't mean you will survive anywhere or people will pay respect to you. Well, you've just like us from your point of view before this, ordinary people!Hopefully after this you will pay some respect to various form of education. Because at the end of the day, is not how glamorous your course of subject....is how well you utilize everything and plan your next step because life is like a box of chocolate..you'll never know what you gonna get.

patience patience n patience

2010-07-18T06:51:00.001-07:00

one more week baby...one more week ;p

2010-07-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

Customer Service's life is about?
1)accepting blame for others mistake
2)patience when people accusing you for being not understanding
3)to be the customers punching bag
4)never be thanked even though you've done hell of a job
5)always been mistaken
6)Viewed as uneducated people.

Well, saba je la, jnji rezki halal..something that beyond theoretical education can teach u.

metamorphosis

2010-07-17T06:42:00.000-07:00

Now, I'm a working man. Right now, surprisingly, I've got the respect i want since I'm able to get a good job with fantastic pay(alhamdullilah) and my family members start to acknowledge my capability. But, the job im heading at is not as easy as it looks. Critical thinking,patience, discipline, stress management, commitment, fast & verbal literate, makes me wonder how much this industry has grown and people's perception towards this industry has change. But, its a challenge and i need the money too!

Well, I'm adapting to the new changes, and soon, i'll be place at either bukit jalil or caps square(hopefully bkt jalil even though they say that caps square is magnificant!). New colleagues, friends and rival too, aiming at one similar goal. Now, im brave enough to say that sometimes people with working experience has greater advantage because everything u'll learn are basically from scratch! So don't be to arrogant to learn new things and swallow your so called education ego(my perspective).

Sometimes, when im caught in traffic jam when going to work and come back from work, my mind will start to ponder, i started to think of my study days, how i would stay way beyond my bedtime, waste my time on the internet googling for no specific reason, watch movies to kill time and hang out with friends and everything, well..its a good memory but right now, i can't do that quite often. Your routine will be preoccupied with work time and when you get home, you're probably tired and all. But than again, at the end of the month, you'll get your reward. Sometime the routine can be quite monotonous, that probably the reason why SUNDAYS is a day where most working people look forward to head to the nearest mall or go picnic or something, because they need to spend time with their love ones and have a quick breakaway from their tight schedule @@, its a totally different kind of feeling when students interprate sundays and how working people interprate sundays..now i know why =p

new definition of loves

2010-07-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Its quite a while seems i've posted a new entry, well its because i've been very-very busy with my training with Astro and also packing my stuff. Okay, my main bullet point its about the new definition of loves that i've learned last saturday. It goes like this~

I used to understand loves is about sacrifices until my psychology session with one of the psychiatry there at the academy. He told me that "yes,loves toward someone is about sacrifices,but what is sacrifices in loves?". He told me that love is something that we will never get back, we just gave and gave and gave until its run out,but love never runs out. That quote makes me wonder a little bit. Question lingering on my head. Am i being to control and possessive?Well,after a while, my opinion has changed towards love.But come to think of it, how come most of the loves song keep saying about sacrifices and such?Am i being brained wash with the rhythms and lyrics keep ask us to makes sacrifices for our loves one,what does it meant actually?to purely loves someone without making them feel burden to us? There are many occasion that occurs to me that showing that sometimes she's felt that burden accidentally, and it makes me feel sad :(

After few psychology class with Vic(my psychiatry aka doc love), i now understand that Loves is not about being there with our partner all the time. Loving someone is how we adore her in all the possible way. Meaning that, if we really love someone, we will let other people shared her. Sharing? yes!share. Because we don't own her or anything, if we really-really loves her, we need to let other people other her too! Let other people know the reason why we love her very much. For example, we can't prevent her from meeting with any one or do some activities with her friends (male or female). When people likes her or adore her, it reflect the person that we felt in love too,and we should be proud of that and not being jealous or anything. If other people likes her, it shows that we felt for the right person. Then we can relate to the old saying" if we really love something or someone, let it free and if they return to us, it shows that its ours". It took me sometime to understand that, but after few session and clear example from real life situation, it makes more sense! That is why husband and wife stick together till the rest of their life. Its because both of them get to be love by other beside our partner,life partner's function is to be there when they need comforting and such. But there's always jealousy. That's the hardest part, human cant runaway from being jealous. Well, we need to trust our partner completely because they have their right too. Well, to tell you the truth, man are always afraid that our women will runaway from us but the remedy is..FAITH~I Love you bb ='*

new and busy life

2010-07-04T09:02:00.001-07:00

too busy until i don't even have enough time to update my blog,too many stories to tell,so wait up hehe :P

i'm feeling a bit lonely

2010-06-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

even though i've got that job,but somehow, i'm not that happy, i feel like i'm the only one who felt this joy,thank god my family is happy but still not every one is quite ease with it. I dunno, i'm happy but i can't celebrate it with anyone,well this is life.

alhamdullilah

2010-06-24T05:32:00.001-07:00

alhamdullillah..i've got that phone call i've been waiting for :D

riddles & poems

2010-06-22T11:27:00.000-07:00

Lately,bb kept on putting her fb stats in forms of riddles & poems. Somehow, i found it very interesting. That's the beauty of riddles & poems, There's no exact meaning or interpretation that could define each and specific line. There's no right or wrong, there's no one exact purpose or meaning. I really found it interesting how it can be fix into everyday life. I guess that's why there's a specific course on modern literature and classic literature. Well,kudos to her. It's very amusing how people could imagine the everyday situation into words of wisdom. We can never know what does the writer actually mean and what does the reader actually getting to. Just a long, guessing game between writer and reader. Road not taken by Robert Frost, thousand of meaning that can be pulled off from this poem. Life decision? Time?Challenge?Personality?Action?or simply just the writer didn't know which road to follow when he traveled. Hmmm~indecisive.

oh man~

2010-06-22T07:27:00.000-07:00

i need to change my phone ASAP!!keep on missing important phone call since monday,not good!

a wedding to attend to

2010-06-19T11:57:00.000-07:00

First of all, bb,thnxie 4 letting me borrowed your camera,there's too many good deeds that you've done that i can't barely repay,thnxie :'),Now, last yesterday's night, i attend a my nephew's wedding, yeah my nephew..and for the record, at the age of 23 yo, i've already have 3 grandson haha!well they all came from my father's side of the family,such a huge and classic family.

Okay, this wedding is Kak Anin's first son wedding. So, ayah is very excited to attend that wedding and since bb let me lend her camera that supposedly used to snap some photograph for our new house, so i used that camera for this wedding(don't worry,you're camera is safe and sound tgh budum dlm bag die =p).The wedding was held in Sime Darby convec near damansara. Since they all are one of those big shot in Sime darby, i guess it must be silly if they don't handle the wedding there. The wedding supposedly start at 8pm but we have to wait for some of the guest to arrive, and Tan Sri Muhyidin Yassin was extremely late (herrghh). But that wasn't the main bullet point of this story, no, this is about ayah's family, most of them barely able to meet each other since most of them already berumur. Even though much of them can't make it but still few are able to arrive safe and sound alhamdullilah. We are mising some of our family members our self cause kakngah is in melaka. Because its been a while since i met my nephews and niece, i forgot how much they have grown up and how hot they are now..come to think of it, its a bit funny cause i used to see them naked when my akak sedare give them a bath when they are smalled..oppss (hehehe jgn mara bb). So,because it was a vvip ceremony, we have to be protocolish and it was a dragg!! We're just a normal family and we preferred the normal ceremony :(. The wedding kicks off at 9.30 pm and we started eating almost at ten and my tummy start sending me messages because he wanted to start digesting food now. Alhamdullillah, everything went well and hope for jodoh bekekalan to the bride and groom Ameen~

here are some snapshot of the wedding that i've taken(since our cam's already rosak so thanxie again bb for the cam):-

haih~

2010-06-19T07:58:00.001-07:00

pnat tgu..kunk ku lepuk gak!!clake nye meksis T_T

Opinion

2010-06-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today's story is a bit different from my usual post.Ok,here goes..i think, im started to get the feelings of casualness between our partners. If we read the newspaper column, there's segment where people will confront the motivator and asking tips on relation and what so ever. Mostly, what they wrote is they felt that their opposite partner is getting bored or doesn't loves him/her anymore. So they start accusing each other without ever confronting them at first or try to hide it.I'm no motivator or doctor but i'll like to throw some of my opinion. Back to the case, we can read or experience outside that the opposite sex will do anything to create attention from the partner. The result?diet pills, fancy dresses or some it can lead to an extend to they're having boytoy or the ever famous 'anak ikan'. Then, they will complain or express to the newspaper doctor that they've made mistake..blablabla all that stuff. It just make me wonder,how the hell does this thing occurs?

Ok,since i'm a man,so i will try not to be to bias or anything but somehow i needed to write from the male perspectives. Ok, maybe the girls always envy those female model like Eva Herzigova, Agness Deyn or Kate Moss and same goes to man, who would not envy that damn Tyson Ballou and Fran Lachowski or the ever famous Christiano Ronaldo (haha). So most of us will try our best to seek attention from our partners or opposite sex (especially now..i dunno why girls are craving over street junkies outfit,mess up hair,big bags,big shoes,large shirt and legging..but thus, im not into fashion that much ++). But i can understand why most of the ladies did that, it's in their nature to like beautiful things that attract the opposite sex. But, the turnover began when what they did doesn't work on man anymore. And when that happen, of course it will causes the 'anak ikan' problem or scandal and such. Might i say that is the girls is bored already trying to get the partner's attention? Maybe there's lack of uncertainty..or plainly, male are just to difficult to please?There's cases where sometime the female, deliberately having scandals or A.I because they felt that the male ignored them or doesn't attracted to them like they use too?Maybe it gives an impression that they've might loss their sprinkle.

Frankly, i think, as a relationship gets older, the male attracted to the female in the different ways(if their seeking for long term relation ofcourse). The preliminary stage is on their outlook, but later, male will attracted to the essential things (if chantiq tp xgheti potong bawang pn xjadi juge..jgn salakn victorinox or bawang hikhik). Of course who doesn't want their partner to look good but looks aren't the only things the male look for. But, the bad side is, male doesn't know how to hide their feelings(boo!) ++. If we're bored, its clearly printed on our straight face and this is not fair for the opposite sex(same goes to me)...trying so hard to look good even though how much they change their hair or clothes, the feeling of loves is still mutual because we know who she is already. So male, give them a chance, its not that hard for us to praise them or make them feel special :). But for the female, here's some tips, when a male is bored with you, don't quickly get into your own conclusion and acted out emotionally because male are born with poor communication skill.Maybe we show our straight faces but that doesn't mean that we don't love or appreciate her, try talking to them, maybe we're facing problems that we don't tell cause it shows our inferiority. And the best tips of all..get to know his interest, if male can consider talking about shoes, kinsella's and kitchen cabinets just to have a passive conversation with her (even though we have no ideas at all!), then why can't the female try to watch football rather than just saying 'it's a guy thing'?hee~don't be afraid that you're making a fool of yourself because we know that you don't like them one bit but because you wanted to struck a good conversation your willing to have small consideration. Try it, cbe one day when u guys hanging out together or ym-ing, then u just tembak "waa,terrer gak messi nie" or "waa,cantek keta nie, tp i prefer skyline", hah! u can see the male mengelupur excited converse ngan u =P,my point, do something that might surprised him for all those years. Again,this is my opinion from a male perspective -Fullstop-

gamba hanye perhiasan sbb i ske germany =p

another option..alhamdullilah

2010-06-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

Today, i attended an interview that been offered to me last Thursday by Scicom Academy. It was like an academy that Astro outsource to find their more resources and it was one of MSC projects. They offered me a post of customer service exec at Astro with basic salary of MYR2500 for fresh deg graduate, so i said yes!I'll attend your damn interview. hehe

Frankly,im still not too sure on how this academy works, I'm feeling a bit self conscious because I'm afraid that they might screwed me. But, will see where it goes. Okay, the scicom academy is located in menara TA one, in jln p.ramlee. My interview session is on 10 am, as usual, i will be at the venue 2 hours early. Again, a nervous rack attack me!! last night..i wasn't able to sleep that much :(, totally different scenario compared too me and bb's interview with EON Bank, the night before the interview with EON,me and bb shared tons of laugh,well its because eon offered us a different post that both of us doesn't like one bit!But my interview today reminds me on my interview with BIMB,maybe because we actually like that offer maybe?

I went for the interview today alone, bb wasn't able to accompanied me as she was tide up with house renovation, she needed to stay accompanied her little sister at home cause the indon is busy repairing her roof. Okay2 back to the story, so when i arrived, i was psyche out of my mind looking at the environment there, the employees are those typical english high school teacher, they spoke fluently and it makes me nervous but yet, motivated to show my capability(as if i've got any heheh low self esteem). Then as usual, they will ask you to fill up the form before interview and i was shocked knowing that they clip together a mathematics test and composition. I was like "damn,time nie la plak xbwk pencil box". It was a good experience for me as i had never encountered with those preliminary test before interview. But typical me, over exaggerate stuff, i was basically accounting problems so phew~ LEGA=D. I was thinking like it was an algebra or all sorts of mathematical problems T.T. They just ask you on problems on balancing accounts, disbursement, ROI and stuff(thank god i'm from business school category)....so i answered the test. But other candidates from engineering and law is having some difficulties answering the test, but i cant blame them, they don't understand the business term. Then, the composition test, it was just a test on how well we can write an essay on both english and malay. We need to solve the problems given using the points given so no hassle there.

Then, they ask us to gather in a conference room where they explained what we will be expected. They said that in order to join astro, i need to undergo the 2nd interview with them then attend training with them at stamford college for 42 days. After completing the training, they will place us at either astro dang wangi or bukit jalil. I was hoping that i'll get at bukit jalil since its going to be closer at my house. Then they explained on the job responsibility and the working hours. The basic salary is 2.5k, plus allowance, 5 working days and work in shift. During training, they will paid me 1250. Plus, astro has its own scholarship too for it will be convenient for me to per sue my master. Well, im still indecisive:(, but i think this is a good offer and opportunity for me, lets hope it works.amin~

Final result

2010-06-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

Alhamdullilah...and YEEHAAAA!!~

interview with BIMB

2010-06-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday, i attended an interview session that been offered by bank islam ,alhamdullilah, well just read my previous post hikhik =p Okay, i woke up early for the preperation and by 7 am i was on my way to kl(early rite?)..hehe cause im afraid that i might caught in the traffic congestion and such..better safe then sorry.

I drove there with extra nervous rack, too many things lingering on my mind while im driving to menara tun razak @@.Luckily ayah prepared for me a half boil egg(so sweet of him) plus, he enjoy my company during his breakfast after injected the morning insulin. Then i told him that Ibu, kaklong and kakngah gave me some motivational speech and support the night before(love them!). After completed my breakfast, i pack my coat and everything and left my house. It was a smooth journey as i just countered small traffic congestion(thank god!). Around 7.40 am, i reached there at the menara's parking lot. Since my interview is on 9.30 am, so just lepaking in my car and muhasabah diri, thank god ben & nadia is extra funny than usual that morning so it breaks the tension a bit =P

The night before, i don't barely sleep because of the nervous attack even though how much i twist & turn and the previous text messages form bb is the only remedy to help me calm down (thnx bb :*). Well,it resulted me being sleepy like hell before the interview, since its just 7.40 am, i decided to take a nap instead of preparing for the interview XD, i set my phone alarm clock to 8.20 am n doze off zzzz~(with the engine switch off ofcourse;p). DING!!DINGG!! my alarm started to scream & patch my self up so that it won't be too obvious that i've taken a nap hee~. Than i take the stairs since its only in ground floor and headed to bank islam front door,ITS LOCK!! I was like..WTF??xkn arinie sume cuti??? (clearly that i easily get panic plus im the first candidate to arrived hehehe), then there's one abg come and spoke to me"opis nie xbukak lg dik,dtg kul 9 nnt", so i head back to my car since i have another 1/2 hour to kill. Once i reached back at my car, guess what i did..yess,i pick where i left off,i take a nap..again,so much for being nervous blablabla gibberish from me :P I set my alarm to 9.05 am because i have some doubt that there will be people in the office yet. Then i continue to catch some Z's.

Then, after i woke up, i went back to the office and i stood in front of their door waiting for some one to open the door(it was this security code door), i realized that there's a man and a lady about the same age as my mother having some conversation outside..not so far away from the door and my mind saying that "nie mesti ade hal gak kt HQ nie n sangkut cm aku" so i just smile at them since they've looked at me, then i said "ade urusan ye, jp ye dorg tgh nk bukak pintu nie,saye pn ade urusan kt HQ nie"..then both of them smiled back and the lady key in the password and opened the door..yeah!i dropped the ball,it never cross my mind that im being helpful to the bimb branch managers,plus those are some of the panel for my interview session..i made a fool out of myself..so desperate attempt to save me from shame,i smile + giggle back and cpt2 masuk office :P

As i waited at the lobby area, the staff there asked me to fill up some forms before the interview session begins. Then, one by one i saw more candidate come in and it was already 9.45am =.=', and to make things worst, most of them came with their parents and some of them even helped filled up the form..i was like~my goodness, korg da besa kot,xyahla smpi nk tman dlm waiting hall nie @@. There's 10 candidate in the morning session, 5 male and 5 female and i was lucky number one!! Suddenly i felt less qualified since sume nye bwk cert mcm kitab injil tebalnye and mine just moderate, then they all psych each other by flipping through all of their cert and resume while i just kept myself busy by texting bb XD. My nervous attack had gone cause i've been waiting for them in such a long time +_+ Okay,my session started approx at 10.10 am and the interview started. They asked me all the thing that you've basically cover in BEL subject, so no need to disclose much, just remember to did your homework then insyaallah you'll be fine!!:D. So the remark from my panel is that she is very very very satisfied with this interview(alhamdullilah) and she'd welcome me to bimb but i still kept my cooled because we still have the second interview. The post that they offered me is Personal Finance Exec, with 1.5k not including 300 nett fuel allowance and 100 general allowance and i'll be receiving commission for each client that consult with me, alhamdullilah. But, i'll try to nego with them on the salary basis because my target is 2k because i need to help my family, they in need of my help :(, but 1.9k is still okay with me if that is what the almighty want me to received..hence it's better than nothing rite?

My interview ended around 10.40 am, and guess how much i've been charged for my parking..rm 20.00..wuuhuuu~bankrupt =.=. So after exiting the menara, i drove straight to bukit jalil and pick up kaklong and brought her home since she'll be alone for a few days to come. END

nervous rack!

2010-06-07T06:28:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning at 930 am,i have an interview with bank islam malaysia berhad at menara tun razak at jalan raja laut tomorrow.

Now, there's thousands of butterfly flying in my stomach,suddenly i've lost my self confidence..well nervous rack attack ++'.Many things flew through my mind, either im capable enough for that post, am i qualified enough, strong enough or am i ready to face the challenge up front!Dear Almighty, provide me strength and agility for me to tackle the interviewer,hopefully i did well for tomorrow..ameen~

quick getaway wit bb,yay!:D

2010-06-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

okay, today was a bit exciting for me, minus i still haven't receive any called from BIMB, hopefully tomorrow morning they will called me,amin~:(, Back to the story, yesterday and today, munchkins went back to sunway cz her nenek had a check up at PPUM,even though i just replied in moderate excitement..god knows how happy i am knowing that she's closed to me again,but male ego so chillex and act cool je tihihi~:P

We don't have any plan to meet up or such cause she wanted to accompany her nenek during check up(hope she get well sooned,is sad to see elderly people not well). But, early morning bb didn't follow her mom to PPUM cause some personal matter that there's no need for disclosure here. So bb asked me later in the morning whether i can send her to her grand aunt's house..Hell yeah ofcourse!>:),Seems that my schedule for today aren't that full, so we decided to meet up and catch up on each other..yadyadayada~most couple did that so need to explain futher ;). Okay, once i picked her up at her house, we head for subang parade seems its been awhile since we crashed that place for lunch. Headed to pizzahut for lunch...its been such a long time ago since i put that slice into my beloved tummy. So we had our lunch there. What happen is that we wanted to order the set meal cause it's much cheaper and more value for money(need to practice the Chinese method!). But what happen is that i assumed that bb wanted to have pizza too, but she's quite a frequent pizzahut customer. She wanted to have the cabonara while im craving for some Hawaiian Chicken. We'd notice that there's a pre set meal but our waiter said we can't changed the pre fix item, so i was quite dissapointed with the waiter's answer, and without consulting with bb, i started to order all the necessary meal in a la carte, so we can aspect how much we have to pay, the check was double from the individual set price. I admit it was my mistake for not consulting with bb and quickly started to order...well it left me & bb argued over the meal a bit but there's a saying goes~ble lame xjmpe,skali dpt jmpe masing2 nk attention lebey..so sorry munchkins :p.

No worries, our argument is not that severe and more to ngengade, after a few minutes we started to laugh over the background music that pizzahut played. It was this old jiwang song yg tangkap leleh smpi ketiak basah nye level. Then, after gobling our food, we hang arround and window shopped as if we have 5k each in our pocket XD, then i send bb to her grand aunt's house at pj, and now, im started to miss her again..need to find more activities to feel my time so i won't miss her that much :(, So,again~BIMB,pls..pls..do call me tomorrow for the details on tues interview,amin~

nah~

2010-05-31T11:55:00.001-07:00

owh man~i really-really do miss her..A LOT!! =(

Double standard

2010-05-29T06:06:00.000-07:00

I know when i am being discriminated. Especially from my own family side. Yes, we're not rich like you, yes, we don't drive around in a fancy Merc & bmws, yes, we just an ordinary and less significance compare to you guys,but at least we have our education and love towards eachother. I don't envy your wealth,i don't envy your earnings,it's yours and the almighty granted to you. You guys can assume that i'm just as valuable as a piece of turd in a punch bowl, but don't ever try...treating my mother,my father and my sisters like a piece of trash. Among the cousins,we are equal but not on your eyes and point of view, we're not good enough to come at your fancy house or hang around with your kids, society double standard, Yeah, i know where i stand now. But as far as im concern, i don't come knocking at your door in the middle of the night begging for my money, hence we have our own money thank you, even though its not that much but alhamdullilah it able to put me through university. I'm not angry or piss out of my mind when im discriminated, yet, im grateful to be given these experience so that i learn how people might acted. It will be a reminder for me to not treat others the way im being treated. I might stay beyond the limelight now, but i'll strive my very hardest to gain and store my dignity, so thank you for opening my eyes.

p/s:the picture below is just for perhiasan okay?:P

my side of the story

2010-05-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well,today is a day where really pack a punch for me. I've been up and running since early break of dawn for crying our loud!(++),so much for my holiday but never mind, i've still got plenty more to burn(thank god). Okay, what makes today is different from any other hectic day of mine is that,today is the day of Unfortunate events!, yeah~my own sequel of Lemony Snickets (--,')

Okay, before i jumped on to the series of my unfortunate events, this is my initial plan for today, Supposedly, today, i will accompany bb for her interview in KLCC, she had an interview for a so-called admin post but clearly, its just another organization seeking for fresh school leavers, too bad for her,she was way~too overqualified :(, but its okay, she gain another experience :D Our plan is to take the Public Transport early in the morning to avoid any traffic hassle, plus, i can save on gas expanses wuuhuuu!!First, i will pick her up at her home then park our car at carefour cause ITS FREE!!Next, we will gedek2 take the public transport to KLCC:no need for further detail explanation(TQ gov for the P.T).Then, after she settle her interview, we will straight head home and maybe menyelam sambil minom air hehe :p

Now, the real story begins. Yesterday, ibu's car broke down at her office in Puchong. She called me and said that she can't start her car at all and no one left at her office, so i asked her to wait in her office while we come and fetch her. After maghrib, me,kakngah and ayh without further a due, went straight to fetch ibu and see what the problem with her car.When we reached there, i saw ibu come running at us, she was so cute running with her purple umbrella!! :D,Okay, pop the hood, godek2 here and there and the problem come from her battery. So, with the help of jumper cables, her car live~.Then ayah decide to not risk anything and park ibu's car at her office parking lot. The conflict is about battery and the alternator. So we left her car there and i drove everyone home before we dropped by at Poliklinik Shah Alam to pay a visit to Paklang, He'd just undergone a minor surgery on his kidney.

When we reached home, Kaklong and her hubby dropped by to our house since she heard the news that ibu's car broke down again. So, family discussion time,again the topic is on financial. We don't have any extra cash at all and to make things worst, klong also didn't have any extra cash too :(.So, we were desperate to buy a new set of battery for her car.Then after intense discussion, we decided to sell of the left over bond we've bought many-many years ago. So cash problem solve!But sadly, i have to canceled off tomorrow's plan with bb, sorry again munchkins :( BB understand my responsibilities towards my family,being the only son and my father is not that healthy anymore. So i need to continue to carry on the family torch. Well enough about that, lets get back to the story ;p

Okay, the new plan is that (today approx at 7.30am) i will head to the bank first to check whether if ibu's salary just bank-in or not, and the result is negative. So we proceed to BSN to sell off the remaining bond. After we liquidated our current asset, we used that money to buy the maintainance free car battery. Luckily, ayah know a guy who sell cheap car spare part so we save up almost 45MYR, Alhamdullilah!:D, Then me and ibu went straight to her office to fix her car. When we arrived, i park my car next to hers and start changing her battery. Ibu try her best to helped me but i understand that she don't know what to do,so she went in her car and held her purple umbrella for me,how sweet and cute ='D, but as we all know, changing battery revolve many movement so is quite hard for her to follow up, so just asked her to just chill,I'm fine working under direct sunlight B-), Then, as i"m busying changing her battery and tighten up some loose nat, her friend, auntie Siti went down and start chatting with ibu, so i just left those two chatter off and continue my work :P, When its done, i try to start the car again..but it fail,i was like..WHAT THE HELL??Then ibu start to panic and said "eh nape xle start nie?". Then i remember that one of my friend's car once face the same problem, he switched to a new cell battery but the car ain't starting, and the cause of the problem is that for a new dried-cell battery which have no brand, might face the problem of getting to start at the first twist on the ignition, they need some kind of energy boast cause they don't have the sustaining energy at the first place, well this is what we get when we tried to bought a cheap, non-branded battery. But the malfunction isn't that severe, just plug in the jumper cable and pofff!!problem solve :P just when i taught everything is over, i text bb to follow up on her and planning to meet her up and make up for the last minute change of plan. When we both agree to meet up, suddenly ayah called me and said that there's few problem regarding the housing loan and i need to meet up with Mr Deep, our banker from CIMB bank. So, another Unfortunate event for me,sigh!

So, again i have to break the news to bb about canceling off the meet up plan, and she take it very well,thank you dear for understanding,love u munchkins :')Okay, so i've left my car at ibu's office car park and bring ibu along to meet with the banker, plus, the car need to running in to fully charge the battery. So, we head home to get some documents and meet up with the banker. I taught meeting with the banker is going to chew much time but we managed to get things done a.s.a.p. After settling things with the banker, i sent ibu back to her office. Then i called bb if we can meet up cause i felt sorry for canceling plan with her, twice in a day!, so we agreed to meet, i came and fetch her at her house and we headed to sunway pyramid just to catch things up with each other, thank you again bb :D, After sharing few laugh, we went back as bb was tired and so do i. So i sent her home. Just as i arrive home, i've got a phone called from my auntie asking me to brought forward today's replacement class for yesterday's emergency. She asked me to conduct my class during evening at 5.30 pm,cause she wanted to take her kids out for dinner, and the other parents have no problem with that. Again,another unfortunate event for me.

When i've reached home, the clock showing 4pm sharp, so i have a balance of 1 1/2 hour to prepare my tuition class. Nak xnak, kne la conduct cause that is my side income. But the challenge ain't over yet, beats me but i dunno why today, my class are soooooooooooOOOOoooo~~restless.So i conduct the class from 6pm-8pm, Supposedly my class would be from 730pm- 9pm for a full two subject(modern math & science) then i help out a little bit with their homework even though they were noisy, lazy, not concentrating and all the ingredients to make you more stress up. But, as a tutor, i need to keep my cool and teach them as much as i could so that they would become somebody one day, plus, the money earn is not half bad for me before heading to a real occupation with better pay,insyaallah,if murah rizkika :)

So basically, that is my own version of Series of Unfortunate Events. =P

My oh my~

2010-05-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, there's few things I'd observed lately, and what surprise me is that..
"THERE ARE STILL BUNCH OF PEOPLE THAT SO PROUD WITH WHERE THEY GROW UP" and "ANOTHER GROUP THAT WILL MOCK & ENVY THOSE BUNCH OF PEOPLE"

My comment for the 1st group of people:

1)c'mon man, its not like you are the founder of that place.
2)ahh~bkn ko yg bli umah kt situ, tau2 ble pak suroh pack2 nk pindah..korg hoorayykn aje =.=
3)so what, like other people even cares,so xyah nk yo2 oo, okay?
4)childish bunch of f*cks ++

My comment for the 2nd group:

1)stop envying them,just let it be~
2)be proud of where ur from my dear
3)maybe mmg tempat 2 lg bagus, again..let it be~
4)joining groups & bashing society???yes,it shows that your really2 jealous n immature to the vise versa which we already knew that they are spoil+childish bastard..emm emm emmm

another scribble

2010-05-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

A person can only love a flower,how it blooms in mid summer day, thus one can never rule over the flower, yet they are nay to be ruled over, one can never ask the flower to bloom according to them, cause the flower already knew how to bloom itself, what one can do is to appreciate the flower's beauty, then shall know how the beauty of the flower make oneself beautiful.

knock some sense!

2010-05-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

Now i know why i love her so much, she is the only people who'd dare enough to knock some sense over me. Yup2, along the way we might have overlook things or do some damages,but might i say, she'd got the balls and the fangss!!,seriously..don't make her angry or u will be sorry,trust me @@v, appreciate that hon B-)

Respect!!

2010-05-19T01:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, another angry, frustrated and might be a sensitive entry from me again.here goes~

This time is about respect. Don't you just hate it when we talked or trying to create a conversation with someone but they just completely ignore us?yeah, by all mean, it can be damn frustrating. When we finally confront with him/her, they will simply said "eh u kne la phm org if nk org phm u". Well, its true, sometimes we need to acknowledge them in order to for them to understand us. But, its simply said rather than done!

In order to acknowledge a person,one must respect them indirectly, meaning that steer away their current task for a moment to really-really appreciate what's on the conversation. Human relation, something that inevitable yet mysterious. The Almighty created us human in many types and physics for us, and the prior reason is for us to respect each other. Imagine this situation, you are a freshie in a new logistic, and you need to break the tension through interacting it will enable us to build our self confident. But that is just communicating. Now, the issue arise when we wanted to struck a good conversation. Especially with an individual. Here, respect came in together with the conversation. A good respect in conversation will eliminate any form of negative communication such as sarcasm and such. If two person respect each other, then the communication will run smoothly.

Problems only occur when there's a barrier in communicating. During conversation, this barrier will lead to quarrel or misunderstanding. Why? let me explain further, in a basic marketing communication, there are two major medium which are the main actor in this picture. the medium are simply the sender and the receiver. In a simpler way, imagine yourself talking to a waiter. When we talk, it send a diagonal tone to the receiver for the to understand our intention/objective. This process is called encode-decode a message. When we ask for an iced milo to the waiter, we are simply encoding the message to the waiter, now if the waiter(receiver) receive the message, it means that the receiver successfully decode the message. That will lead to a successful conversation. But, between the sender and the receiver, the only thing that will create a so called "misunderstanding" is the presence of "barrier" between the them. a barrier is simply things that lead to a receiver to misunderstand the message or falsely decode the message. Barrier such as the receiver not paying attention or doing other things at the same time will create a problem. Now, does respect fall under this category?

My opinion towards my overall gibberish, YES IT DOES!. Here, the receiver can easily claim that 'u need to respect them first before they respect you', and i think that its just an excuse for them to win or save themselves from trouble. Receiver will said respect and understand me but does the receiver respect the sender at the first place?Something for you to think about. If you are to damn busy, don't ask for a conversation at the first place if the receiver know he/she sucked at multitasking. Again aware with the surrounding people!!. If a person doesn't respect the conversation, how the hell can the sender respect the receiver?Another desperate attempt to save his/her ass is coming up more unrelated reason. Just a point for them not to say sorry to the sender,yeah sorry is such a big word. The receiver will always try to turn the table around and the last and final attempt is.."u never appreciate/respect me".Why is it so hard by just saying "sorry, i'm not paying attention, can u please explain clearly". It wont hurt to be a bit polite and admitting that we're not paying attention to the sender because, a sender isn't a retarded, they can tell the difference between a person who take the conversation lightly or he/she is really paying attention. Here, it shows the receiver isn't paying any respect at the first place. Yeah, the sender know the receiver is an ordinary human,same as the sender, so a little respect to each other will help!Because, you never understand what the sender might wanna say to you.

p/s:morale of the story, both parties need respect towards each other!!

maybe its hard for you to understand words, so here's a music video!

what should we do?

2010-05-13T13:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, our faculty held an event regarding job opportunity. After just yesterday we had our final paper, we were urges to go for interview without any preparation and this is a recipe to dissatisfaction plus lack of quality output capable of generating from the school's product.

We were given an option towards jobs that frankly, it's not equivalent to our paper qualification. Mostly are waiter/waitresses or f/o clerk. But now, what crosses the students mind is that, should we be too picky on jobs or do we have to claim some substantial standards towards our self. To me, i have a standard. Even though I'm not that 4 flatters but i know my hard work should be rewarded to equally standard rewards. Should we settle down for a lousy 1.2k salary which similar to diploma's candidate and fresh school leavers?Some claim that it doesn't harm you if you go for interview and there's no exact assurance that we will be hired right?Well, F-U, yesterday, i secured my first job with just a single shot at it!no hassle,just a some question that you need to have quick logical responses and common sense. But i decide to decline today. I'm not closing the doors on my luck or simply been picky, its just, do you know what is cheap labor means?Because we come in bundle it gives them the opportunity that they can press the salary down. At the end of the day, they got a bargain and we lost other opportunity.

There are also words saying "ala try je" but from my internship experience, i know the bad side of this industry pretty much. This industry is made for those who really-really have a strong essence in their heart. Yup!, you need to keep remind yourself on what is your purpose and not been consume by the negative factors. Because i love those people around me and we know who can really stay on top of this industry's game and who is practically will be eaten alive or accidentally get influence. Me-no-perfect but who is, but from my experience, i know that i can't survive there, so i better hang my boots before any remedy needed! you can't imagine how they can influence you directly or indirectly. The industry as whole is magnificent for us to study and observe, but the grass is not greener on the other sight in this context, this is not the place for you to test yourself,trust me!This is for a greater good @@.

Abeshee Brothers.

2010-05-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

A friendship is priceless, Yet, today is another day that my course mate in shah alam decide to throw a final bbq dinner party before we held off our different ways. We decided to throw that party in PD as that is the nearest seaside & most of us eagerly wanted to convoy( dunno why). But that is not the objective of my entry today, not about pd, not about convoy,not about bbq dinner, not about having fun with your friends. Its a bout appreciating the bond with your closest friends.

There are four groups for my course. My classmate is consist of two branches, 1 is Penang, and another one is from dungun. For me, frankly, i have small bonding with my dungun's side in my groups, but for the other groups, i'm quite okay with them. But today, is more on the "penangians".

For my penang classmate, we are quite close to each other, regardless where we are from or what course we attended to. Even though we seldom speak to each other,but we know who he/she is from. This perhaps of the logistic of the campus itself because it is pretty small compare to other campuses. I still remember the 1st day i've entered the penang campus, scared, excited, bored yet happy, lost yet belong. Perhaps that is the stage of me adapting in the location itself. Well, the 1st thing that helped you adapting in to new location is making new friends. For three years, we've gone through tremendous obstacles in some foreign land for us (plus being the 1st batch to get kick out straight from college for our course,yay!). Because we depend heavily on them and they depended on us, it create a strong bond, especially for my housemate. Being the crash test dummies for other classmate, my housemate really-really need to stick together because we need to survive by our self. From feast to starve, from rich to poor, from bored to enjoying, from 'menapak'&"menge'bas'" to everyone have their own car, we stick by together as brothers. Might sound emotional but yet, that's how we felt towards each other. As years add into our accounts, we closed our chapter and move on to our bachelors.

Our bachelors years hold a different card. This perhaps that we are closer to our house and familiar with the surrounding, we're tend to be more self independent. Even though practically we are still in the same class, we respect each others space and whom they want to be with. Hence, life is about moving on and taking the next step. With other influence from the dungun's, attitude might change and perhaps most of us are bind towards our partners. But still, the respect and understanding make us feel better even though it can be bitter. I have to say that my classmate, the dunguns doesn't posses the same bonding like the penangs. I might say that they don't understand the word 'pure friendship' and for my housemate, the 'brotherhood'. Even they succeed to turn our heads against one another, they forget that deep inside, we respect each other and kept that bond tight, even we know that mostly people back talk on the penangs especially my class. That made this day so special to me. This is the ceremony where the penang actually remember what we have gone through back in those diploma's days that might seem "gayly" or "pathetic" but just to remember that how much we have grown up and become adult, ready to face the adult world especially for my housemate. Good luck to all of us!

exam month!

2010-04-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

dear reader,

Exam month is on the air,so no new post will be posted,sorry for the inconvenience.

regard,

hahahahahhahahahah*gelak gulik2 kerna poyo*

jenjalan

2010-04-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

i have my own car, i have a map leading to such tremendous place *wink wink* ..but looking at other people's stories and pictures..make me realize something, I HAVEN'T WENT OUT MUCH!!Last time i checked, it was back in Penang when i'm studying there..and now its been like three years??Oh my~bb,jum jenjalan nk?;;). Pity me~again envy ruled over me... =(

Here are some pictures taken during our (me & mdno-senpai) journey from penang to KL.

let me introduce..mr panda(bb gave that name:*)

year taken:2007..time kreta nie wangi lg ;;)

Cash call~

2010-04-21T01:06:00.000-07:00

The world now is a buying-spending wheel concept, If you don't have extra money..you'll be left out, no friends, no activities, no love, no happiness,no life..sadly but true (~.~). These symptom will lead you to:

1)stress
2)unmotivated
3)low self-esteem
4)hungry
5)boredom
6)watching football alone
7)mindless surfing
8)Sitting at home updating your blog

how about friends and spouse?
-> Hah! they are the one who causes this problem at the first place --- NO MOO,NO GO! (=.=)

how about getting a job?
->Dear resume recipients..pls pls call me soon so that i can have my buckaroos ($.$)

I can say that even life now is expensive. If you don't have extra money to spend, you'll see your self as a loner, hate it! People around you will get easily bored. Sick & tired with the same old activities, there's no excitement, no more thrills, bosan-lahh, i'm trap in this place,and all the nonsense excuse of wanting to burn a hole in your pocket. Why must everything need money huh? We'll look at today most common expenses:

1) Prepaid for calling your honey (plus with family members & friends) = 30.00++
2)Food & Drinks = 5.00(every meal)
3)Gas = 65.00++ (on a weekly basis)
4)Internet = 98.00

and this is the popular "happiness expenses"

1)Toilet = 0.20
2)Food & Drinks(2pax) = 15.00 and above
3)F&D with friends = Optional, 7-8.00
4)Futsal = Minimum of 7.00-10.00
5)Movies (2pax) = 14.00 (wed rate)
6)Gas = 20.00
7)Parking tix= 5.00(approx)
8)Rojak & Cendol time = 5.00

Haih~above are all the very basic expenses for you to earn a good time with friends and spouse.Even for love, we need to bare the cost or she will left us out,my goodness..who said loves is free?happiness is free?quality time is free?(@@). Well, most of today's excitement need money. I wonder how people back than spend quality time with F&S. Now, even kicking a god-damn ball for a lousy 1hr have its own price tag. Not to mention going to library/book store, even if we can practically read for free, we need to pay the fair just to get to the library!

My opinion, no offense of touching some religious issue , but the world have been undertake by the non-islamic culture. Islamic views of sadaqah & mahmuddah has been overruled by the non-islamic method. Since the fall of Uthmaniyyah, these N.I has develop the economic foundation that leads the people to be unhappy and ungrateful. Have we ever wonder how those people back then, no internet, no technologies no everything remain happy?Yes, Islam too have urge its ummah to seek sign of the creator, education, opportunity, wealth, wisdom in a purpose of the Almighty. But how we implemented our findings and development into the way of islam is differ.They used to be more humble and scared with the Almighty when they discover and unrevealed the mystery of the earth movement using simple palmagram. Then, they shared it with others for free so that everybody is stun with how powerful is the Almighty.

But now, the new N.I economic system deceive the entire human raise. When they found something or discover something, they doesn't share it with others in fact, we need to buy that information or the discovery. They created a fundamental of "envying" in most of the public mind. They show the wealth, exciting, enjoying etc in media in order to make people want to have the similar experience. Whereby, happiness, enjoyment and life-fulfilling should be free. When we saw Tom Cruise rock climbing in Mission Impossible 2, people start to dig rock climbing but we all know how expensive it can be. Thus, it affected most of the new generations mind, wanted to do something not because of discovering our creator, but simply to get the same experience like what they see in the media because of envy. The corporate take full advantage to these people by charging them for every single happiness and joy the wanted to experience.Islam has thought its ummah that 9/10 sources of wealth is through business. But, islam also urges its ummah to sadaqah and mahmudah in the returns they'll get. But the N.I has manage to create a worldwide domination of taxes,charges, fees to us. if we look at the basic expenses we have to pay is intensely ridiculous! So, stop envying people's activities you see in the media. At the end of the day, the richer will get richer,the poorer will get poorer(opposite rule of thumb comparing back when Islamic economy is dominating), and people still doesn't realize that! When will it change back?wallahu'alam.

first flight

2010-04-20T09:12:00.000-07:00

A bird nest is a sanctuary,full with loves,joy and hope. A place where we dream of who we gonna be someday or where we gonna go. A place where we learn the basic survival skill before we flap our wings to broad new dimension of life. The question now is how ready are we to flap our wings?when we're smaller, we always dream of the we took the first flight,but why at this moment, we don't have the courage to flap..not even once? Is it because we are afraid that once we leave the bird nest, we are on our own?Or simple we are just afraid of what lies beneath our destiny?An eagle, a parrot or just a hummingbird.Thousands of question popping out the young bird's mind when he is standing on the platform. But, the mother bird insist the young bird to take his chance outside."Why is it i have to leave the bird nest mother?"then the mother answered"the first step is always the hardest,even though it means that we need to leave our nest..if we always remain at our nest, how can we discover the majestic beauty that the world have to offer, So don't be afraid to take your first flight cause if might happen that you'd fall..you can always return to our nest".

morale of the story
We must always be brave enough to leave our bird nest, draw our own path,destiny and not relying on others to draw it for us,otherwise, we can never know what is our true potential in life or who we'd become!

hogg-wash

2010-04-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

okay, i think i'm starting to get the hang of blogging(regardless of me being sarcastic before) =.='. Yeap, i used to have the perception that blog is just another tools or medium of communication that been misused by varies. When someone said to me "hey, take a look at this blog" or "take a peep at this one" and the most favorite quote"wey,asl eksyen sgt,bce la blog nie dow!", and yes, i turned them down without any hassle(poor thing). But now, i have my own blog too,so g main jauh-jauh,sye xnak kawan ngan awak sbb sye pn ade blog...hee~ =P

tales between a boy and a man.

2010-04-18T23:35:00.000-07:00

Today,yesterday and two days before was a pretty hectic day for me..err i think i would rephrase that with "for the past several weeks!" (=.=), Ayah was diagnose with kidney failure past week ago and was admitted in PPUM. The doc said to me and Ibu that ayah's diabetic complication has lead to other internal organs. Last night, after the scan on his kidney,the nurses of ppum called us and said that ayah can pack his bags and go home(with certain condition ofcourse!). Before that, Ibu and us had been very2 busy settling Ayah down at his ward and also handling the home chores, not to forget during that time, i still have classes though. Being their only son, i have to bare the burden of taking care most of the stuff cause Ibu rely on me. But i have to remain strong and positive not just for myself, but for Ibu too. Along side with, me and Ibu had to meet, handle and seal the deal with the house agent cause we're moving out from subang jaya :( Alhamdullillah, we've manage to close a great deal and left with small paperworks for loan approval. Above all that, i have to study for my upcoming final exam which start on Friday specifically(need to practice POLC more frequently now).

Back to the route of the story, me and Ibu been handling much of the work because of my 1st sis is pregnant & fragile and my second sis just got back from melaka and assist us on the house chores. My routine for the past several weeks was like this:

i)pick up ibu after subuh to avoid any traffic hassle.(if ibu decided that she'd wanted to go back home)

ii)make sure that kakngah have money or food for breakfast and lunch.

iii)fetch bb at home so that we can go to class.

iv) send her back after class.

v)drive kaklong and kakngah to ppum to visit ayh.

vi)make sure that both of my sister have eaten their dinner.

vii)follow up on the housing issue.

viii)lovely assignments.

ix)study

*subject to change hahaha.

Here, i can't be too selfish or self-centered because i know that i have huge responsibilities as an only son. Beside, if i'm tired, imagine how Ibu felt?she'd must be tired too. So i need to stay tough and vigilant for everybody. Hence, it would be a great practice for me before having my own family. If i'm not ready or brave enough to face and handle my current responsibilities, commitment and step on ayah's shoe, how can i be an 'Imam' in my own family right?Beside, that how we differentiate between a man and a boy =p A boy wouldn't dare to commit himself or handle responsibilities, focus on himself first rather then others while a man is opposite. END.

The Beginning.

2010-04-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

Finally..i've decided to start throwing my conceptual ideas & opinion into wordings.

We'll see where it goes..Let's keep it private shall we :P